My Happiness Project - Discovering Me

Keeping to the commitments I made was a really tough chore.  One would think that with only two commitments it would be easy, alas not so.  It would seem that every time I wanted to tackle the task of meeting my commitments to my self there was always something else to do.  What I was really doing was finding an excuse why not meet my commitments and this I had to admit was at first puzzling.  Once I had actually taken out the journal and set pen to paper I had managed to fill three or more pages.  The trick was to get the pen out and, irrespective of mood etc. just write.  Unbelievable how fulfilling that is.

One of the things that I have found quite intimidating is actually learning more about myself.  While this seems like a trivial issue, it is quite a daunting task.  What makes it daunting is that you have to look at yourself, critically and honestly and to find out what makes you tick and the this is scary.

I would have to look at myself and decide what makes me happy and what makes me not so happy.  And what if I uncovered the scares of the hurt that had cut so deep? What if through this journey of self discovery I find flaws? How would I deal with that?

After a good few days of avoiding the subject and making a number of excuses that was hindering my progress I finally realised that either I will have to tackle this head on or else I will have to relegate myself to the therapist chair/couch where inevitably I would discover that the answers lie within me and nowhere else.  I have to bite the bullet!

Now you may be thinking why all the fuss? surely its easy to know what makes you happy?  But my objective is to go beyond just the surface, and find out do they provide perceived happiness or are they  in fact coping mechanisms?  Coping mechanisms to fulfil some hidden desire or need or some emptiness?  So is this a journey of finding more happiness and am I indeed happy?  These are the questions that loom before me and beg to be answered.

Another question which comes up and from time to time is,  am I doing what I am meant to be doing i.e. am I fulfilling my purpose?  This I am glad to report I have the answer to that one.  I read once, in some book which I can not recall anymore, that whatever you are now doing is your purpose, and I fully subscribe to this philosophy.  It helps to know you are living your purpose than there is a good chance that you will give it your best shot.  My purpose is to be on this journey to find more happiness and in the process discovery who I really am, I have no doubt about that.

One thing I definitely know I am not unhappy,  I may not be happy but I am not unhappy and this is indeed a good start.....;-)

Points to Ponder and Share:

Do you really know what makes you happy? 


Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 12, 2013 at 7:58 AM

    It is indeed a good start

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    Agree that it is a good start, not sure that I do know what makes me happy. I know what makes me unhappy, though, and perhaps, even that is a good start.

    Knowing what you don't like could lead you to identifying your coping mechanisms and enable you to move beyond. A journey, indeed.

    ReplyDelete

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