O P o t B

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had made different decisions, taken a different road through life.  Considering the possibilities and thinking how it may have turned out.  But this lasts for but a fleeting moment because the reality of it all is that I am here now and this is where I am right now and all I can do is the best that I can right here and now. I have been bearing the burden of my past failed relationships and finally I have come to terms with it.  It takes two to tango and I can only take and accept responsibility for mine own actions. And more often than not these were at the peril of my own self and my own soul in an attempt to provide and fulfil the needs of my partners in the hope that they will someday reciprocate.  How mistaken I was because in reality how often does one get what one expects from life? Instead I move into a new existence, alone but not lonely, separate but not apart and with the knowledge that my Creator is with me every step

Being a parent is not easy, being a divorced parent even more so.  I remember clearly the day each of my kids were born, such elation, such wonder, at the miracle of creation.  The sleepless nights, nights spent pacifying them, comforting them when they were ill, the tiredness and the exhaustion that resulted pales to the joy of watching them learn and grow into little bundles of curiosity with insistent questions about everything in their environment and, the word that every parent anticipates with trepidation, why? Through their school years, the teenage years and into a young adult.  At each step new challenges for parents.  In my experience, no book, TV program, advice or anything else for that matter can prepare you for these years.  It was during this period of my kids development that I seriously believed that this was the universes way of getting back at me for all the trouble I caused my parents. The thing is that kids bring home to us the startling reality of our own mort

One trillion. Can you imagine exactly how much is one trillion? Written down it is a one followed by twelve, yes you have it, twelve zero's.  Come to think of it, it is only in recent times that we have come to hear about this number when the world was in the midst of a financial crisis.  But to be honest, I had heard the number once before when Dick Cheney, as the secretary of the Department of Defence, stood before Congress and said the DOD could not account for one trillion dollars! Now here is the thing how do you misplace one trillion dollars? It's not like it is a single bill! Google it and see how much dough it really is. To put it in perspective, you could spend a million dollars a day for a million days which means that in order to spend all that you would have to live for 2737 years!  In the last few weeks the US deficit was increased by another 2.3 trillion, and I stand corrected, it now exceeds 14 trillion dollars.  Imagine that, cause I am simply having a huge pr

the sky has turned blue black the world finally silent searching the recesses of my soul perchance I find peace from need or want need or wants of... the material the spiritual the egotistical the physical the realisation dawns peace is needing nothing freeing myself filling with love peace at last

It always fascinated me how people who have immigrated tend to gather together, in there country of immigration, to talk about the home that they have left behind.  This to seemingly justify, or rather, quell the doubts that they have or the reasons for them taking the big step. "It's the crime", as someone recalls a horrifying experience that had occurred to them or someone close to them. "It's the political situation", a second backs up the argument as they explore the corruption of man in politics.  And so it goes on and on each argument laying to rest the doubt that exists and the questions that go unanswered. I am a South African of Indian origin, yes my ancestors made there way here many years ago, and while I retain many traditions of my Indian origins I am wholly South African.  I have travelled far and wide, to most countries in the western world and to a few on the eastern side, and I must admit, if I am honest, that South Africa is one of the