A New Road

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if I had made different decisions, taken a different road through life.  Considering the possibilities and thinking how it may have turned out.  But this lasts for but a fleeting moment because the reality of it all is that I am here now and this is where I am right now and all I can do is the best that I can right here and now.

I have been bearing the burden of my past failed relationships and finally I have come to terms with it.  It takes two to tango and I can only take and accept responsibility for mine own actions. And more often than not these were at the peril of my own self and my own soul in an attempt to provide and fulfil the needs of my partners in the hope that they will someday reciprocate.  How mistaken I was because in reality how often does one get what one expects from life?

Instead I move into a new existence, alone but not lonely, separate but not apart and with the knowledge that my Creator is with me every step of the way.  Where each day is a day of rejoicing for the gifts that the Almighty has bestowed upon me and the solace of mine own company gives me joy and the silence of the moments are filled with peace and most of all love. Doing my best expecting nothing.  The sheer joy of doing being the ultimate goal.

For in doing I am fulfilled and in so doing I am at peace, not on any ones terms but mine own.  Doing what  I should be doing my life's mission being the best that I can be right here, right now wherever I am.  This is an existence that belies its complexity, its innate passiveness belies the strength required and therefore so difficult a road to follow.  A road that seeks that you go against your very nature a road that seeks to destroy the inherent characteristics that we as humans have come to judge ourselves by.

So go forth, as I have done, and place all your faith in the Creator and persevere and persist for the just reward, of those who do, is nearness to Him who has created all. A gift worth all the heavens and the earth ;-)


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